I was 12

I visited Provincetown

With uncle Joey,

Parents and sister

As we walked

Down the main drag

The deafening noise

Of the party city

Filled me with energy

Watching the crowd

Guzzling beer

Saw them strutting

After  I heard the laughing

I was thrown to the street

By unknown marauder

Thin bones

Scraped

Against the gravel

On the road

Startled

Not understanding what happened.

I immediately got up

Tried to catch up

With my clan

But they didn’t ask

Any questions

I internalized the attack

I was used to being heckled

At in school and

Thought I deserved this.

Years later

When I found out

My uncle was gay

And that Provincetown

Was crawling

With gay men and women,

Only made my memories

More confusing.

Had I provoked

The boys?

Was I begging

For violence