I wish I didn’t obsess about
inheriting my mom’s negativity.
I wish I could recall her rubbing my chest with Vicks
When I couldn’t breathe.
I wish I didn’t get bored
When I went to T.J. Max
and she asked me which dress I liked more?
I wish that when she was recuperating from her mastectomy
That I didn’t ask her to leave after six weeks.
I wish I could remember being in her womb
Nourishing me with her love before I was born.
I wish I didn’t think that our relationship had gotten toxic
When she lived with me for the last seven years of her life.
I wish I didn’t worry about getting
Her louie body dementia.
I wish I could have made her happy
Before she died.