Metaphors:

Gordon was a rejuvenated dried fruit

waiting to be picked

Showing rather than telling:

Gordon was angry at the Covid virus

Gordon screamed Fuck you Covid

Tenses (past versus present):

Gordon had wilted after he’d walked 7,500 steps

Gordon is wilting as he finishes walking his 7,500 steps

Don’t over write:

Spigots of scalding expensive water

Devoured my wilting parched dried rubbery skin

Question believability of dialogue:

“You grip my feet into crippled anthems.”

First person versus third person:

I was screaming into the bulbous black hole.

Gordon screamed into the bulbous black hole.

Inanimate objects having dialogue or feelings

Blue walls were bleeding and singing “Goodbye.”