Bob Adels 1948-2019

My friendship with Bob spans thirty- four years. In 1989, when my lover Scott was dying of AIDS Bob would bring him lunch and watch over him. Bob and his lover Topper helped transport Scott to the Chris Brownlie Hospice. With no wheelchair available, they gently carried Scott in his desk chair from his bedroom to their car. Like a bride and groom at a Jewish wedding. Bob was my go-to person to discuss music. His eclectic taste covered the gambit of rock, folk, Broadway, country, r&b, blues, and jazz. We could talk for hours about music and the sad state of the music business I would give Bob a bucket list of my favorite songs and he would prepare a pristine DVD of the best recording of my selections.  He spent hours looking for Doris Day’s “What’s the Use of Wondern’” from Carousel. There was nothing too obscure for Bob—Yes, he found “Mr. Dieingly Sad” by The Critters.  He loved theater and we became theater buddies when we were both members of the GLAAD committee. We saw plays with any glbtq characters. Bob’s brilliant critiques made for lively discussions. And when I began going to Academy Award film screenings Bob was a constant companion. Despite his health issues he gathered the strength to experience Bohemian Rhapsody last October. Food was another specialty that Bob excelled in. When I became gluten-free he could always advise me about Chinese restaurants that had the best Chow-Fun rice noodles. He gave me recipe advice too. I have to thank Bob for the fluffiness of my balls-I mean Matzo Ball soup. Bob guided me on how to shop at the .99 store. And don’t get me started about what he knew about computers. His patience with my technical ignorance was frightening. I treasured Bob’s friendship. We tried to speak once a week. Bob’s devastating health didn’t stop him from asking and giving advice about any of my minor health or emotional maladies. And he was instrumental in helping my self esteem when my job ended twice. This kind loving soul leaves a gutted hole. I pray that his brilliant spirit will haunt me.

7 thoughts on “Bob Adels 1948-2019

    1. He was a gift to those lucky enough to have him as a friend. I never recall him other than interesting, supportive, sweet, helpful. The stars up there shine brighter now. It is for us to make that extra brightness enlighten our lives and all whom we touch.


  1. I’ve known Bob since 1965, our freshman year at Penn. I last talked with him on his birthday in 2019. I was late with this year’s birthday call and when my call didn’t go through, I had a very bad feeling. Some internet research led me to you and the sad, sad news about BOTH him and Topper. I feel just terrible. Do you know how to get a hold of Lori by any chance? I couldn’t find Bob’s obituary online and I don’t know her married name or any other contact information. I would appreciate any help you could give me. Thanks in advance.


    1. not sure if this helps but my friend Ray had this information. You might consider calling the spa 310-858 9009

      Good morning Gordon,

      Unfortunately I don’t have a Lori’s phone number. However she’s listed in ‘Linked In’ as Lori Adels, PHD – Chief Compliance Officer – Cerus Endovascular located in the San Francisco Bay Area. I’m fairly sure this is the same Lori. She’s had her own issues battling cancer for some time and I’m not sure what her situation is now.


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